Bruning Bridge

It's my own fault. So much waiting. So much wasting for the life under the bridge. I realise it was just a dream, yes, a dream under the bridge.

A dream that never cane true. Who doesn't long for someone to love. Someone to hold, someone to love without being told. Here I am, begging and pledging. Love me, enough. Love me for me but you yourself to the tomorrow.

Like a breath in the dark. Like whisper in the wind. Here I am, with this mark, with this sin.

I don't believe you. I don't believe me, the promise of tomorrow. The hope that I'd be okay. The hope of me.

Take a breathe and release the solitude of yesterday. El adios de ayer. The everything of what was. What we were. What we had. What we thought. What we sought.

Another bridge to cross to just light and stand on. Amuse me to burn along with the ambers of this longing, this hope.

This bridge I lived under alone.

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I know it's been so long. We've been here before. Before the end came. So here I am. You make me write. You make me write these words. You should be here saying it'll be okay.

There's so much we should be beyond by now. What was the promise. So much potential, so much whatever we said. So much hope. We knew hope more than they did. More than we did.

Hope.

Yet, I travel alone. Travel so far beyond than where we were. So much noise, so much life between the beginning.

So, we said we will. We said "Yes".

I felt it. I felt the answer.

Terrance.

Thanks. It hurt. But. I know now.

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Early July Thoughts

Wow! Look how long it's been. I never thought I'd let this much time pass since I posted but being here at my own place, gives me hope that things can change and things will be good.

Looking at my community I can see that anything is possible. I have a place to call my own, yet it doesn't feel like it is. Perhaps it's because I haven't moved in yet, but the potential is still there.

The things that are facing me now aren't so bad but there is one thing I can't stop thinking about. My mother's surgery. I've known it's been coming but I know I won't be able to accept it until it comes and it scares me that I haven't come to terms with it.

I'm afraid of what it will mean. The what ifs have taken over and I am truly afraid. I've tried talking to my friends but it seems that they are disinterested in what I have to say.

My family is one of those that don't express their feelings which makes it even harder. I know my mom has her own concerns and it makes me sad that we don't share our own.

There are times that I wish I could take the whole world's pain and sorrow away. It would be a good sacrifice. One I could understand.

Yet, here I am. Sitting alone. Beneath the stars. The dawn about to break. A beautiful beginning with so much potential and hope. Perhaps I should be the one who believes even if I'm the only one.

Either way, I'll love my mother, shima', my true love of this world.

posted from Bloggeroid